Had a completely new shopping experience yesterday.

Headed to Union Square to stock up on some seasonal needs and other essentials (Sephora standards, rain boots, a new coat, and some new bras and undies) and found myself pretty deep in a panic attack on the way there. I was already feeling anxious before I ventured out, but I figured that getting out of the house and being productive would be more helpful than just going into hermit mode. I also thought that maybe smoking a little bit of weed might help ease my troubles. Well…that didn’t quite turn out to be the case, and let me give you a bit of helpful advice: If you are feeling the least bit uncomfortable in any way, and especially if you are also on any amount of drugs, going in to an extremely busy Sephora in a crowded downtown shopping area is probably the worst thing you can do. I picked up 2 out of 3 of my items before I stood frozen for about 4 minutes completely overwhelmed by a constant swirling of people, the overbearing scents of millions of perfumes, crazy blasting music I didn’t even recognize and, worst of all, the brain-invading fluorescent lights. I actually thought for a brief moment that I might pass out, but somehow I gathered all of my strength (it really felt that way at the time), found the courage and capability to ask an employee where the Clinique section was, grabbed my third item (Clinique Black Honey Almost Lipstick is my jam), panic-texted my sister as I waited to check out, and then promply made my way back out into the less terrifying world. If you have been to Union Square in San Francisco (especially outside Sephora, which is right next to the Cable Car turnaround) on a beautiful weekend afternoon, then you know that the fact that that was less terrifying than it was inside Sephora says a lot about how terrifying it was inside Sephora.

Anyways, a lesser person probably would have called it a day at that point, but I decided to really test my boundaries and walked on over to DSW (JK I’m definitely a masochist when it comes to exacerbating my own issues and I would not call anyone who doesn’t willingly subject herself to psychological discomfort ‘lesser’ in any serious way). Now, I am not a shoe person. I have turned living in $34 Urban Outfitters ballet flats into an art, and I could probably count on 3 fingers the times I’ve been specifically excited to shop for shoes (bat mitzvah, prom, volleyball). However, I would rather not spend yet another rainy SF winter being scoffed at for my soggy feet, and I figured DSW was as good a place as any to find a pair of boots. Mind you, I figured it would be a miserable experience, but a miserable experience that would negate future miserable experiences. I’m nothing if not a woman of reason (everyone I know laugh now).

BUT YOU GUYS…it wasn’t so bad! I don’t know if I just got lucky and it was a slow moment in DSW or something, but they were playing some low-key jams and I found myself really mellowing out. In retrospect, I think it had something to do with the way the store is organized, just neat row upon neat row upon neat row of shoes. I kind of zoned out and just ignored everyone else around me, and slowly (I mean very slowly) went up and down each isle (literally up and down, I can’t look at two sides of one row at a time) searching for foot-cover I might want. And, not only did I find a pair of rain boots (simple, black, utilitarian with the slightest bit of stylistic flair), but I found 3 OTHER PAIRS OF SHOES THAT I WANTED TO BUY! That is, like, completely unheard of!

Of course, I am still not grownup enough to actually buy these things (because a] too expensive and b] LOL that someone who spent 80% of her weekend on the couch would ever actually wear those beautiful heels), but just having that urge was incredible. After that, I was so blasted on endorphins that I sailed through like 3 more hours of successful shopping, eventually heading home with my Sephora stuff, rain boots and some new boot socks, a cape-style coat, perfect flannel pj pants, a pair of the above mentioned flats, and a bunch of new bras and unders.

Kind of wish I had been brave enough to buy those brown boots, though.

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